


forever in my heart

by doitsushine92



Series: Dreamies A/B/O [17]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Alpha/Alpha, Alternate Universe - Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Boys Kissing, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, talks about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 18:43:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doitsushine92/pseuds/doitsushine92
Summary: Jaemin doesn’t really know where to start. He may be more relaxed now than he was before but he’s no more excited to be having this conversation. He’s not good at expressing his feelings - he never has been – and especially not when it involves him being vulnerable in front of others. It doesn’t matter to him that they’re his boyfriends and they’re some of the people he trusts most, he’s just not good with serious conversations or feelings. He’s lucky Donghyuck had enough sense to force him to sit down and talk instead of following Jaemin’s wishes and leaving things in the air.“I guess,” Jaemin mutters. “I just… I don’t know. I’m not good with words, you know that. What did Donghyuck say to you?”Renjun purses his lips in distaste at Jaemin’s obvious deflecting of the conversation but he still says, “He told us a lot of things, but we could start with how you think that – that I don’t love you as much as I used to? Do you really feel that way?"“Well,” Jaemin blinks, “yeah? A little.”





	forever in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all, if you follow me on twitter then you probably already know i won't be posting this series for a while. i decided to post this last fic before going on a hiatus, the reasons outlined on my twt so if you want to know the details feel free to drop by! this doesn't mean i'll stop writing though (i don't think i know how to stop writing, actually)
> 
> anyway, please enjoy!

“What is going on here?” 

Jeno and Renjun share a look that Jaemin is too afraid to decipher. Renjun’s living room alone is making Jaemin antsy and suspicious of his boyfriends, with the low lightning and the blankets on the floor, the absence of other people – including their fourth boyfriend – speaking loudly in itself. There’s nothing to actually prove Jaemin’s suspicions, there’s seemingly nothing wrong with the place, but Jaemin’s senses are screaming at him to take cover, to put up his shields because something is wrong and he might end up hurt.

“We thought it would be nice to have a date night,” Jeno smiles prettily, but Jaemin isn’t fooled. He knows them enough to smell the underlying intentions in the air. “Unfortunately, Donghyuck couldn’t make it, but he texted me earlier to say to say to you that he loves you.”

“Where’s he?” Jaemin asks. Donghyuck hadn’t said anything about having any plans in the nearby future and he’s usually the most excited to have full dates, so it’s strange to know he’ll miss it. 

Renjun shrugs, playing idly with his sweater sleeves. His nervous tics only feed Jaemin’s fears. “Family camping trip, he and Mark are gonna be gone for the weekend.”

“Why is Mark going with them?” 

“It’s Mark’s family the one going on a trip – look, dude, I don’t know either, alright? They’re weird.”

Jaemin nods and accepts the answer. He’s long given up on trying to understand their relationship and he guesses it’s best to let them be. But it doesn’t make him feel better about being here right now, because he can see from miles away that Jeno and Renjun are nervous about something and it’s making _him_ nervous.

“Come on,” Renjun beckons. “Let’s seat, yeah? I ordered take out.”

The silence in the room for the following minutes is excruciating. Jaemin feels like he’ll suffocate if someone doesn’t start talking soon, but thankfully Jeno takes a deep breath and says, “Jaem, we kinda need to talk.”

Unfortunately, that isn’t exactly what Jaemin wanted to hear. A million and one things go through his mind in a nanosecond, all the possible reasons why they might want to talk, what they might have to say and he’s honestly the type of person to think of worst-case scenarios first and logical scenarios after, so of course his brain is telling him they want to break up. 

Jaemin is frankly scared to ask, but he has to. “What about?”

“It’s nothing bad, baby,” Renjun reassures him the second he hears Jaemin’s voice is shaking. “I promise.”

“Donghyuck talked to us the other day about your conversation,” Jeno hesitates, “About what you told him? And Injunnie and I realized that we’ve kind of been shitty boyfriends lately. So we talked and decided to have a little alone time with you, give the three of us a chance to talk too?”

“Alright,” Jaemin sighs as he leans back on the couch. Renjun and Jeno, scarily in sync, move to sit on either side of him and they both place a hand on his thighs, warm and soothing. “What exactly do you want to talk about, then?”

“We could start with that thing you told Hyuck about Renjun?” Jeno suggests. Renjun glares at him from the other end of the couch, mumbling something about throwing him under the bus, and Jeno smiles at him sweetly. The familiarity in their actions helps to finally loosen the knot in Jaemin’s chest and he relaxes minutely, enough for his boyfriends to notice and they smile in relief. “Wanna tell us more about that?” Jeno prompts him softly.

Jaemin doesn’t really know where to start. He may be more relaxed now than he was before but he’s no more excited to be having this conversation. He’s not good at expressing his feelings - he never has been – and especially not when it involves him being vulnerable in front of others. It doesn’t matter to him that they’re his boyfriends and they’re some of the people he trusts most, he’s just not good with serious conversations or feelings. He’s lucky Donghyuck had enough sense to force him to sit down and talk instead of following Jaemin’s wishes and leaving things in the air. 

“I guess,” Jaemin mutters. “I just… I don’t know. I’m not good with words, you know that. What did Donghyuck say to you?”

Renjun purses his lips in distaste at Jaemin’s obvious deflecting of the conversation but he still says, “He told us a lot of things, but we could start with how you think that – that I don’t love you as much as I used to? Do you really feel that way?”

“Well,” Jaemin blinks, “yeah? A little.”

“Why?” Renjun pushes, but he doesn’t push too much, his voice still gentle. 

Jaemin shrugs. He’s uncomfortable, under the spotlight like this, two pairs of eyes staring at him with so much compassion and love that it’s making him itch. He wishes Donghyuck were here, because he always knows exactly how to bring Jaemin down, how to talk to him and approach him without being too much. Not that Jeno and Renjun don’t – Renjun has a sixth sense when it comes to his boyfriends and Jeno has a sixth sense for everyone, but unlike Donghyuck, they’re not the kind of person to leave things for another time just because they’re worried someone’s feelings might get hurt. The Donghyuck that forced Jaemin to talk two weeks ago was just a fluke, the product of a horrible fight. 

“I don’t know,” Jaemin admits, sighing in frustration. “I can’t really pinpoint an exact moment when I’ve felt like that, I just do. I guess it’s the way you and I don’t hang out together that much anymore. Or,” Jaemin halts, because the next words are far too intimate even for his own mind and he feels a physical distaste to even thinking about them. But Renjun takes his chin and forces him to meet eyes and Jaemin gets distracted so easily when looking at him, he ends up blurting out, “Our kisses are different now. We don’t kiss as often, I mean. That night at the bar and then at my apartment… it was great because you were there, actually _there_ with me and your mind wasn’t anywhere else. “

Renjun looks like he’s on the verge of saying something but holds back, clearly waiting for Jaemin to finish his thoughts. “And I guess you haven’t said I love you to me in a while, either.”

It breaks Jaemin’s heart to see the way Renjun’s mouth drops and his face pales. “So, yeah. That’s the thing.”

Jaemin can see Renjun trying his best to keep it together and he appreciates that, but he needs him to say something before Jaemin has a stroke. He begs with his eyes for Renjun to talk but instead, Renjun surges forward and kisses him. 

Jaemin gets knocked back from the strength in Renjun’s attack and the crown of his head bumps into Jeno’s chin, who groans in pain for all of two seconds until he realizes what’s going on and he stops complaining. Jaemin tries kissing back as best as he can, but Renjun is admittedly overwhelming and then Jeno is wrapping an arm around Jaemin’s middle and fucking kissing his nape and Jaemin is damn near losing his mind. 

There are way too many things happening at once for Jaemin, what with Renjun trying to singlehandedly bruise his mouth and Jeno’s sweet little pecks to his skin and the ever present butterflies in his stomach and he can’t help it when he tears up, especially when they both start muttering praises and declarations of love and promises of how much Renjun adores him. Renjun pulls away when he feels the tears hit his skin and it only makes him look at Jaemin with even more emotions. Jaemin can’t exactly call it pity, because that’s not really what it is – it’s more like Renjun has realized something, something about them and their relationship, something that’s causing him equal parts pain, regret and determination. 

“Don’t cry,” Renjun murmurs, wiping away the tears on Jaemin’s cheeks. “I’m sorry, Min. I really am; I should have tried to be better for you. But I promise I will never neglect you like that again. I love you, Jaemin, so much, you have no idea.”

“I love you too,” Jaemin says softly. 

Jeno hums contentedly while Renjun pecks Jaemin’s cheek and waits an appropriate amount of time before speaking up, “There’s another thing we need to talk about, though.”

Jaemin kind of wants to groan. He’s already emotionally exhausted and he really doesn’t feel up to any more talking, but Jeno won’t let it go and he knows it. “Alright,” Jaemin says. “What else do we need to talk about?”

“What did you mean when you told Donghyuck you were jealous of he and I?” Jeno asks.

“I meant exactly that,” Jaemin shrugs. “I’m jealous of you two. When you two are together, it’s like nothing else matters to either of you. And sometimes, it’s like I don’t matter to you. So yeah. I already told Donghyuck, we had our talk, we’re fine. I’m fine, Jen, promise. It was stupid. And I don’t feel like that anymore because I understand that what you two have might be special, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love me.”

Jaemin can feel Jeno smiling against the skin of his nape. “Our smart little Jaemin,” he coos. Jaemin wants to punch him for talking to him like he’s five or Donghyuck or something, but he’ll admit it’s kind of nice to be babied every once in a while. “I really do love you, yeah? And you’re right – Donghyuck and I are different, I don’ know why. But it doesn’t mean that what I feel for you or Renjun is any less. I love the three of you differently because you _are_ different.”

“I know that. I love you,” Jaemin whispers, the pressure behind his eyes giving way to more tears. “Both of you, really. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

“You’re not a mess,” “Baby, no,” they both rush to reassure him. Jaemin can hear the raw sincerity in their voices and it makes him cry even more. Jeno brushes Jaemin’s hair back tenderly and says, “Ok, I think that’s enough for tonight. How about we have that date instead, take a break. How does that sound?”

“I think that sounds wonderful,” Jaemin giggles. Renjun giggles along with him and then Jeno does too and the ambience in the living room shifts to a lighter mood, finally. Renjun gets up from the couch to fetch soda cans from the fridge and Jaemin stays right where he is, leaning back on Jeno’s chest and nearly purring in content as Jeno continues to pet his hair. 

There’s a bit of an argument to choose what movie they’ll watch, mostly between Renjun and Jaemin because Jeno isn’t very picky when it comes to movies, but it’s easily broken up when the pizza arrives and they jump the delivery guy like the starved teenage boys they are. Jaemin gets preferential treatment tonight and he happily munches on his own pizza box while Jeno and Renjun share the spare one, yet all of it disappears in a matter of twenty minutes.

Jaemin is absolutely spoiled tonight; he’s cuddled nonstop, he gets to pick the movies they’ll watch in the end and he chooses where and when to sleep. So while Jeno struggles to find the movie Jaemin wants to watch on Netflix, Jaemin burrows under Renjun’s arm on the couch and hides away on his neck, humming everytime Renjun pecks his forehead or caresses his waist and lower back.

Jeno takes residence on his other side and curls around him, his fingers overlapping Renjun’s on his stomach and locking fingers, effectively trapping Jaemin between them.

“What are we watching, again?” Renjun asks once the opening credits roll in.

“Jeepers Creepers,” Jaemin mumbles, just in time for the title to show on the screen. He can feel Renjun’s judgemental eyes on him and he’s prepared for his follow up question of, “I thought you hated the supernatural?”

“I don’t _hate_ it,” Jaemin shrugs. “I just don’t believe in it. The movies are fun to watch, though. Even if they suck.”

“Why are we watching this one, then?”

Jaemin shrugs again, a shit-eating grin on his face, “Hyunjin recommended it. He said it made Seungmin disgusted.”  
Renjun groans out, long-suffering and exhausted, but he settles down again when Jaemin pouts up at him as complaint of being jostled. “Sorry. Fine, but do you even know what the movie is about?”

“I don’t know, something about a killer and some siblings,” Jaemin says. “It’d be easier to tell if we paid attention to it.”

If Jaemin had known what the movie would be like, he probably wouldn’t have chosen it. Jeno keeps his eyes somewhere else for most of the movie, more disgusted than scared, and Renjun shifts uncomfortably when the male lead finds the bodies under the church. But overall, the three have a good enough time making fun of the clear low budget for the film and having one sided arguments with the characters – that is, until the end, when Jeno gasps loudly and declares the movie as the worst thing he’s ever seen. 

“At least the soundtrack was okay?” Jeno tries.

Jaemin laughs while Renjun moves to reach for the control and says, “Oh yeah, a song about eyes in a movie where the killer eats eyes. Beautiful. What are we watching now, Injunnie?”

“We’re watching another movie?” Renjun asks instead. He sounds genuinely surprised, and Jaemin pouts at him once more. “It’s almost eleven, you know?”

“So?” Jeno and Jaemin ask in unison. 

Renjun sighs and goes back to the Netflix search bar. While Renjun makes his decision, Jeno and Jaemin cuddle on the couch and refuse to let him join him until there’s a movie on the screen. Jaemin would be more annoyed by his choice if he weren’t in the mood for bad movies, so he doesn’t complain when he sees The Grudge 2 is flashing across the screen. 

When the movie is over, they make Jeno choose another one, even if it’s 1am and they have responsibilities to take care of in the morning. Jaemin can’t say he cares too much, _especially_ with his two boyfriends curled around him and kissing him if he as much as blinks prettily and puckers his lips.

 

 

(“Oh my god, is he whistling?!”

“He just sniffed that head.”

“He’s eating the head.”

“Ok, but his hair reminds me of Beetlejuice.”

“How dare you compare Beetlejuice to _this_?”

“Why is he making out with that decapitated head?!”

“That’s the tongue?”

“This is the grossest movie you could have chosen, Jaemin, I hate you.”

“I love it.”)

**Author's Note:**

> sooo if you want to talk to me about these fics or ask questions or send me prompts for other fics or tropes, you can do so on my [ cc](https://curiouscat.me/doitsushine92)!! you can actually talk to me about anything there (pls talk to me about isle of the lost/descendants and what a great plot it has despite the terrible execution thank you)
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/doitsushine92)


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